Yes, Online Learning Stinks

My mother was a teacher and an administrator. My sister is a teacher. My husband's father was a teacher and an administrator.  I have teacher friends. I have administrator friends. We go to church with the superintendent of Cabarrus County Schools. But I am also a parent.

I do want my kids to go back to school. They need it. They miss their friends and sports. They have even said they miss school.  I miss the schedule of school. I miss ball games, I even miss packing lunches. 

I think I have heard more people say, 'My kid doesn't do well with remote learning.' And I get it, mine aren't thriving in it either. More kids than not aren't thriving in it. We are social animals and we all crave that personal attention. But we are all in the same boat. All our kids are learning remotely. And it is hard for all of us. 

There are COVID-19 theories all over the place; it is a hoax by the government, it is just the flu, the strength of the virus is weakening, it doesn't do as much harm to children.  But what if is isn't? A friend from high school was sick with COVID.  Her latest Facebook post pled for everyone to tell your loved ones they are loved. 

When we talk about schools we aren't talking just about kids. It takes adults to run those schools. I know several who have just a few more years left before they can retire, my sister being one of them. Many of these adults are afraid for their health. Maybe COVID is a hoax, but what if it isn't and my sister gets sick from a child who did not show any symptoms.

I do not envy our leaders making these decisions. I am not going to criticise, however, next time we vote for School Board I am doing my research. Not because of the decisions they have made because this entire event has shown how important good leaders in the school system are.

Dr. Lowder made a recommendation to protect everyone. As a leader he should protect those who are under him. I respect that. I have always said, a good leader isn't afraid to do your job should the need arise. And I believe Chris Lowder has demonstrated he isn't afraid and that he understands the fear of our teachers and administrations have.

This whole thing sinks. And it stinks for all of us. I will celebrate the day when my kids can cheer and play ball. I will celebrate the day when we can hug and sit together. I celebrate the day my kids can go back to school.  But for now I stand with Lowder.

 #Istandwithlowder

A Friendship Born on the Westside

My mother always had good friends from church that were not her age.  She had older friends and younger friends.  While there was a teacher-student relationship there was also a sense that the field was level, even though there was an age difference.  One of our favorites was Mary Thorton Yarborough.  She lived down the street.  Her husband participated in tractor pulls.  And we loved to visit at Christmas and taste all the goodies she had baked.

When Dale and I found our church home, I made lots of friends with ladies older than myself.   With each meeting I thought, "Is this MY Mary Thornton?"  But soon I realized I didn't need another Mary Thornton, I needed Gaye.

I met Gaye Bryant Kelly in a Bible Study.  She was not like many of the other ladies who spent lots of time getting ready for the 90 minutes we spent talking about whatever book study we were doing.  She threw on some clothes and walked the two blocks to church.  She cut her own hair, wore very little make up and said just what she felt.

Our parents were both from the West side of Charlotte.  So Gaye felt we were kindred spirits.  There were things we were both raised to believe.  Things we gave the West Side credit for.  We both grew up in the Methodist Church. We both love to cook and we both love red wine.  We both love the mountains. We both love family, even when it is sprinkled with a bit of crazy.  Both our families have that bit of sprinkle.

Gaye shared her wisdom with me.  She taught me who to share my thoughts with and who would share my thoughts with everyone else.  We held each other in confidence.  She guided me through IKEA for the first time.  She guided me through The Depot (the IKEA of antiques) for the first time.  We share food, wine and deals.  We both crochet, read and binge the Blacklist.  We love our yards, open windows and clothes on the line.

Gaye is a master at capturing the light.  She would change the furniture in her shotgun house depending on the season and the light.  I have always admired her ability to be still and be aware.  I admire her ability to share and her ability to be quiet.  She, like me tends to wear her emotions on her face.  But she is better than I am at keeping her mouth shut!

We both grew up Methodist.  It runs deep for both of us.  John Wesley believed small groups sharing God's word were key to understanding it.  Gaye and I met in one of those small groups.  We evolved into other groups.  Sometimes that was a group of four or five cooking pancakes on Ash Wednesday, sometimes it was a group of seven or eight exercising in the Youth Room.  And sometimes it was just the two of us and my daughter, eating lunch and shopping for fabric.

With the evolution of technology Gaye and I communicate more via texts than we have in person over the last 18 months. Her husband retired and they bought a mountain house.  Even though they did not move completely, time spent here was work time.  Two houses, two yards, two gardens. In the end they decided that was too much to maintain in the summer.  The house in Concord was under contract in 24 hours.

Every School Needs a Jamie

Every school needs a Jamie Hackett. Every kid needs a Jamie Hackett. She is not from Concord but she is the biggest Concord Spiders fan, hands down. Her daughter played volleyball and cheered. He son plays football, basketball and is on the track team. He has wrestled and played baseball too!

Jamie attends every game her children have competed in. And many her children don't compete in! Her daughter has graduated and Kena can usually be found at her brother's games too.

When the athletic boosters were hesitant to take on a fund raiser at the Panther's Stadium Jamie said, "The football team will do it." And they did, well, Jamie and her friend, Leanna did. At every single home Panthers game (and a few other events) Jamie and her volunteers sold burgers and chicken wings raising money for Concord football. If your child played another sport she shared the wealth. When the new baseball coach pitched in, she shared the wealth. It is a 9-5 day with a 45 minute commute. It is a on-your-feet-hustle-and-smile-all-day-on-your-day-off kind of day. That smile never leaves her face. She is happy to be there, she is happy to work for her kids.

And they are all her kids. She has the cell numbers and they have hers. She texts to check on them. She makes sure they have a ride home, a ticket to the game, and food to eat.

She organizes meals for what ever team her kid is on. And when he moves up or on she makes sure that the next person in charge, cares just as much as she does.

She knows the story on each kid. Not so she can gossip, so she can support them. She knows who might need a ride, a sandwich or a hug. She will take a picture and brag on her kid and yours.

Thank you Milton, Kena and Jameson for sharing Jamie with Concord High. Go Spiders!

Be That Mom

My mom taught my friends to eat artichokes, kiwi and brussel sprouts.

We made pasta from scratch.

We had a wok and made homemade eggrolls.

She let us make a mess and I don't remember any complaining about cleaning it up.

She taught me to crochet and to sew.  We made my prom dresses, all three of them!

She taught me love plants and to share them!

She helped my friends with their science fair projects, she was a science teacher.

Be that mom for your children and their friends.  Make a mess with them in the kitchen and eat what you created!  Buy something new and find a way to cook it.

Play with your kids, kick the soccer ball, throw the baseball, run a race, get in the water with them. They may be faster, score on you or hit you with the ball. But they will see that aren't afraid to get wet, dirty and sweaty. They will see loosing isn't always bad (they may loose, or you may!) And you will both enjoy time together.

Find a DIY project and give it a whirl.  The laughs and time you spend together will mean more than any video game you buy them.

Plant something in the yard.  Water it, watch it grow, watch it bloom.  You will be outside in the fresh air giving back to the earth.

And be that mom, go to the movies with them, bake cookies, plant something.  Be that mom that gives them space.  But be that mom that welcomes them.  Be that mom with the house that the kids want to come to.  Be that mom that has to park in a different place because there are kids at her house.  Be that mom.  They will be safe, you will know where they are and I promise they won't forget.  I haven't.

Lunch at My Desk

This is my lunch.  I was supposed to eat at school with my son who is taking his first EOG test today.  When I got there, three and a half hours after testing started he wasn't finished.  He does get to eat his lunch but he doesn't get to eat with me.  He doesn't get to eat with the kids who have finished the test.  He gave his smart watch to his teacher.  He took the Road ID off his shoe for fear of it making noise and causing a misadministration.  (A Road ID is simply an identification tag he wears on his shoe when he runs.)  I don't know where he is eating, because I couldn't see him.

As his sweet teacher told me what was going on, I cried.  I cried in front of all his friends.  I tried to stop but I just couldn't.  My teacher friend came over and hugged me, I cried some more.  I cried because I had promised him I would eat lunch with him when he was finished.  I cried because I kept my promise and he didn't even know it.

After three hours, these kids are eating lunch an hour after they usually do.  They are fried, and mine has to keep going.  Why is a 9 year-old taking a three hour test?  And he has to take another one on Thursday!

He isn't finished because he isn't smart.  This kid has grown seven reading levels this year.  He is smart!  But he questions things.  He wonders how things work and why do you think that.  He plays 'What if' and 'Would You Rather' all the time.  So I am sure he has read and reread the questions and over analyzed them for fear of making a mistake.  Because in his creative brain there may be several ways the question could be answered.

My heart breaks for these kids.  This testing is so unnecessary.  It isn't a true test of what they know.  It isn't a true test of his school.  I am not mad at his teacher or the school or anyone in that school.  They are simply doing what they have been told to do.  And if they don't do it this way, everyone has to do it all over again.

A nine year old and a three hour test.  Who thought that was a good idea?

Bright Lights and Confirmands

My grandfather loved Post-It notes.  They were all over the house.  Most of them were reminders to my grandmother of things he wanted her to do.  I think this was written on one of those Post-It's.  "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 4.  After my grandfather died, my mother took that Post-It in his handwriting and had it copied and framed with one of his ties for each of her siblings.  

I have always loved that scripture.  It speaks so well of what my grandfather wanted of his children.  Reflecting on that piece of scripture, I think, that is all I want for my children.

Sunday was Youth Sunday at church.  Eight seniors will graduate.  I have known most of those seniors since they were in elementary school.  Their mothers are my friends.  I remember them romping on the hill at my house during barn parties.  Lost legos and water gun fights.  Yesterday, they led us in prayer, they spoke to us from the pulpit.  I cried with those mommas, because I love those kids too.

Nine 6th and 7th graders were confirmed.  Our daughter was one of the four girls.  She spent most Sunday mornings of the past year leaving her sleep overs early to go to confirmation class.  There were retreats and fun Saturday afternoons with her mentor.  She claims Fran as hers.  I can tell they will be friends for the rest of their lives.  And I am so thankful for that relationship.  I have always cherished my mom's friends that were my friends as well. 

Blakely learned more about the kids in her class.  They have matured and grown as friends.  They have grown deeper in their faith.  The four girls in this group will always be friends. The girls have been in church together for most of their lives.  They all go to different schools but church is what they share.  That is special, not everyone has a church family.  While the boys are still icky boys, she does respect them.  

Thank you Rebecca Tucker and Daren Brauer for leading these kids.  I can't put into words how much we appreciate your dedication to the faith journey of some silly middle schoolers.  I noticed yesterday how excited they were to be confirmed.  They did this with your help, but they owned their accomplishment and they were proud.  

And to my mom.  It was so sweet to sit beside and you sing Methodist hymns I know because of you.  Rebecca thanked the parents for making the dedication to get their children to church to participate in Youth and confirmation.  I need to thank my mother.  When I was in middle school she let me make the decision about my faith.  It took me longer, because I was a bit of a rebel.  I didn't want someone to tell me how to love God.  I eventually saw that love is love.  You aren't taught how to love God, you are taught how to love and respect people.  And that is loving God.  

My Child and Middle School Sports

I love our schools.  Our system has magnet schools both IB and STEM.  But my kids go to their neighborhood schools.  All three of their schools have become IB schools.  I love the curriculum at the Elementary and Middle School level.  As my oldest enters high school next year, he is just doing high school.  And I could go on with all my thoughts on that, but that is a different blog.

We are Concord!  We are Concord Middle School.  One third of our school is each black, hispanic and white.  We are diverse in our economic back ground, our talents and our weaknesses.  My kids have friends of every race in the school.  They know no color.

My oldest has played football and baseball in his 7th and 8th grade years with the same coach for all four.  In the 8th grade he made the basketball team.  Our losses were more than our wins on the scoreboards but not in the eyes of my kid.  At other schools he may not have made the team.  If he had, he may not have played.  In 7th grade baseball and basketball he sat the bench more than he played.  But he watched and he listened and he learned.  He had great coaches who loved these kids.  These coaches gave him opportunities to be a better player.  He played more positions in football and learned to keep fighting even after he had stopped his player.  He stepped up and played center when the center was hurt.  In baseball he learned to pitch in the 8th grade!  Due to injuries we were down pitchers.  David stepped up and said, "I'll try.''

That day there was a track meet, a volleyball game and a baseball game.  Lots of people I knew were at the school.  I was talking with a friend in front of the field house, not watching much of the game.  I looked up at the field and David was on the pitching mound.  I grabbed my friend's arm and said, "Holy s***, David is pitching!"  I grabbed the camera and sat with two of David's friends who play for the high school.  They assured me he was doing well.  I am still a wreck every time he gets on that mound.

After a tough away game, David texted me from the bus and asked if he could stay another minute and ask the coach a question. I was worried he was going to ask if he could stop pitching.  As much as it rattles my nerves, I know it is making him a better player.  Nope, he wanted to make sure he had made the adjustment in his last pitch the way the coach had asked him to.

At the end of every baseball game the coach reminds them to, "Keep it classy."  And they do.

We have seen teammates on winning teams not support each other, not shake hands or say good job.  That is on their coach.  Our last football game the coach and two players on the opposing team were suspended from that game for fighting.  A coach was suspended for fighting.  That boggles my mind.  Yet, said coach was at the game in a coat and hat, calling plays from the other side of the field.  We won that game in the last 7 seconds.

We had baseball players on the football team and football players on the baseball team.  Some kids play both but for some the other sport was a first.  Or the first in a long time.  These kids shared bats and gloves and tips.  They listened as the other vented over difficult practices.  Then they helped each other up and kept playing.

My take from the last two years is I would rather have my kid play on a loosing team than ride the bench on a winning team.  I would rather have my kid play for a coach with his health and character in mind instead of a win.  The best part of all of this is the group of boys that my son has spent his spare time with.  They practice together, play games together, lift each other up and cheer each other on.  They are such good kids, I am excited to see where they go and what they do.

I know I will leave someone out but I am going to try and thank you all.
Coach Webb, Coach Tierney, Coach Black, Coach Treadaway, Coach Blue, Coach Tick, Coach Twiggle, Mr. Hoover and Mr. Walters, Dr. Tulbert and Dr. Snyder.

And the boys; Nick and David played football, basketball and baseball together.  The football players Daniel, Jason, Bryson, Greyson and Tyler.  The basketball players; Nick, Jonathan, Drake and Cam.  And then the baseball team.  I can say they are my favorite because I know them best.  You are closest to them at a game.  You hear the coach fuss and cheer for them.  You can see their faces when they are disappointed. You can catch a smile as they smack the ball or make an out.  And you learn all their mannerisms, like kissing the ball before you hand it to the pitcher at the beginning of an inning.  And how they twirl their bat before they hit.  To these boys; David, Jason, Nick, Matthias(Sticks), Luca, Logan, Tyler, JD, Ben, Greyson, Max (Spanky), Bryson and Jaden, keep playing, I will keep watching (and taking pictures.)