My mother always had good friends from church that were not her age. She had older friends and younger friends. While there was a teacher-student relationship there was also a sense that the field was level, even though there was an age difference. One of our favorites was Mary Thorton Yarborough. She lived down the street. Her husband participated in tractor pulls. And we loved to visit at Christmas and taste all the goodies she had baked.
When Dale and I found our church home, I made lots of friends with ladies older than myself. With each meeting I thought, "Is this MY Mary Thornton?" But soon I realized I didn't need another Mary Thornton, I needed Gaye.
I met Gaye Bryant Kelly in a Bible Study. She was not like many of the other ladies who spent lots of time getting ready for the 90 minutes we spent talking about whatever book study we were doing. She threw on some clothes and walked the two blocks to church. She cut her own hair, wore very little make up and said just what she felt.
Our parents were both from the West side of Charlotte. So Gaye felt we were kindred spirits. There were things we were both raised to believe. Things we gave the West Side credit for. We both grew up in the Methodist Church. We both love to cook and we both love red wine. We both love the mountains. We both love family, even when it is sprinkled with a bit of crazy. Both our families have that bit of sprinkle.
Gaye shared her wisdom with me. She taught me who to share my thoughts with and who would share my thoughts with everyone else. We held each other in confidence. She guided me through IKEA for the first time. She guided me through The Depot (the IKEA of antiques) for the first time. We share food, wine and deals. We both crochet, read and binge the Blacklist. We love our yards, open windows and clothes on the line.
Gaye is a master at capturing the light. She would change the furniture in her shotgun house depending on the season and the light. I have always admired her ability to be still and be aware. I admire her ability to share and her ability to be quiet. She, like me tends to wear her emotions on her face. But she is better than I am at keeping her mouth shut!
We both grew up Methodist. It runs deep for both of us. John Wesley believed small groups sharing God's word were key to understanding it. Gaye and I met in one of those small groups. We evolved into other groups. Sometimes that was a group of four or five cooking pancakes on Ash Wednesday, sometimes it was a group of seven or eight exercising in the Youth Room. And sometimes it was just the two of us and my daughter, eating lunch and shopping for fabric.
With the evolution of technology Gaye and I communicate more via texts than we have in person over the last 18 months. Her husband retired and they bought a mountain house. Even though they did not move completely, time spent here was work time. Two houses, two yards, two gardens. In the end they decided that was too much to maintain in the summer. The house in Concord was under contract in 24 hours.
I now have lots of furniture that was in her 100 year old house. My daughter now sleeps in the bed Gaye's granddaughter slept in. She is now close to my family's mountain house so she isn't completely gone. But not having her within walking distance of the church makes me sad. Knowing she was there, so close, gave me comfort.
We still share the good wines we find and the good foods we cook. She still gets our church emails and asks about people who need prayers. And she prays for them. She is a good Methodist.
I still love her Instagram pictures capturing the light. She seems to have an eye for the angles in life that the rest of us don't see. I mean that in a literal and figurative sense. She has always been able to help me look at things in another manner.
I couldn't go by her house for awhile. It made me sad. One day I decided to drive by, so I could update Gaye on the situation. She believes you should live in a house for a year before you do anything to it. She has a point. And so far, her house looks the same. The yard is fun and funky. They haven't blown out the walls or added on in a ridiculous manner. I hope they love the light like she did.
Thank God for technology. I still have Gaye in my life. We haven't done lunch or shopped for fabric in the mountains yet, but I am sure we will. Or we will drink wine and eat something fun and enjoy sitting outdoors. But I can tell her when I open my windows that first warm spring day that it reminds me of her. And I can ask her questions about faith and the nature of people. And I can share the pains and losses of our other friends that have lost touch with her. And I am blessed to know that she is still a part of my life and my light.
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