Dear Running, Its not you, its me...

Dear Running,

We have been together for a long time!  On and off for about 20 years.  But I think it is time we take a break.  I love you but I am not in love with you any more.  Its not you, it is me!

Love, Meg

Salisbury NC July 2013

I started running when I moved to Charlotte in the late nineties.  I had always been a walker but one day it was going to rain so I had to get home fast!  I had no Garmin or dri-tech clothes and my shoes were old.  But I liked it.  I ran Peachtree with Ivey and The Charlotte Observer 10k with Ken.  I ran several short races with Sherry.  I was never fast but I had fun.

Then I got married and had kids.  Baby weight!  What could I do in the least amount of time and burn the most calories? Run!  That is how it really started.  My daughter was a few months old, it was getting warmer (she was born in February) so I laced up my shoes.  Ivey coached me virtually through my first half marathon with a grand old time of 2:53!  I sat down at the end to take the chip off my shoe and swore, "Never again!"  But I did it again and again and again.  Tomorrow I run my sixth half marathon.  I have run two 10-milers and more 5k's and 10k's than I can count.  Add in four mud runs, several trail runs, yep, I am a runner.

Running is hard for me.  I am a mental person.  It is easy to tell myself, "You are hot, you need to stop."  "You can't go fast."  "Is this over yet?"  But I made myself run because starting over was so much harder than those 30-50 minutes it took to run 3-5miles three times a week.

I have never been fast. And that has always been okay.  I have won awards a time or two.  But I look at those as an award for getting out of bed and doing it.  I can run in a group or alone. But I think it is time for a break.  My knee hurts, my hips hurt and I just don't love to hit the pavement any more.  My training for this past half has been terrible.  I can't make myself do it.  I don't care.

I think I am writing to give myself permission to take a break.  Running in the summer in North Carolina is the worst possible form of exercise.  I promise.  It is hot, humid and you sweat like crazy.  I hate it!  I forced myself to run three times a week last summer.   It wasn't pretty and I didn't like it.  I love to exercise, I love the way it makes me feel but I no longer love running.

So for the summer, at least, I am going to take a break.  I am going to do more yoga, ride my bike, swim and hang out with my FiA friends more!  (If you don't know FiA or F3, check it out! I highly recommend!)  I will run some, when I want to, but I won't let myself feel like I have to.

Running and I may get back together in the fall.  We will just have to see how it goes.