Happy Mother's Day

 My mother taught me a lot of things. She taught me to sew, she taught me to cook. She taught me to

work hard. By example, she taught me to eat well and exercise. She was running before it was cool. At 70 she commented she had started lifting heavier weights, I asked if she had moved up to five pounds. 'No, eight!' She was ahead of me! 

We always cooked our meals from scratch. There were no mixes in our house. I remember being a mom of two toddlers buying groceries. An aquaintence was in line behind me. She commented that I must be a good mom because I had the good diapers in my cart. I looked at my cart and then at hers. She had prepackaged lasagna and processed food in her cart. Yes, I had the good diapers (the cheap ones didn't fit my child!) but I had ingredients in my cart, real food. I smiled and nodded. But I thought, if I am a good mom it isn't because I bought more expensive diapers, it is because I took care of my children. 

She taught me the joy of playing in the dirt. I still ask the names of plants and flowers, it just doesn't stick in my head! She grew African Violets at our house in Sanford. I remember the egg shells in water under the sink. We share plants. And because of her, I love a plant with a history. I love to say, my mom gave me that one. And I share with my friends, 'Hey Jamie, do you want some elephant ears?'

My mom was friends with my friends, she insisted they call her Celia, "Mrs. Dickerson lives in Charlotte." She would say.  My friends looked to her for advice on college and careers. Just yesterday the daughters of two hometown friends graduated from Appalachian State University. They posted a picture. I sent it to my mom. She loved those two mothers from the time they were little. I knew she would be proud of them now. Proud of them as mothers and proud of them as women. 

She calls my oldest friend, Zac, often. She remembers his birthday. She was there for his step father's funeral. He called me to ask that my mom go see his mother before she died. 

Make friends of every age. She had Mary Thornton Yarborough and I have Nancy Griffin. 

Vote! Write letters to the people elected, they should be supporting you. And even if we don't agree on everything, it doesn't mean we can't be friends. 

Buy the good shoes and the good underwear! Very important advice from my mother. Think about it. 

Go to the mountians! Climb to the top. Breathe in the air. Turn off the tv. Dance outside. Bluegrass is great music. 

Drink good beer and good wine. Make good food. Celebrate! Don't put the dish you cooked in on the table. Sit down together and eat. Everyone helps clean up. Everyone needs to know how to cook. (During the pandemic I taught my kids to make a rue.) Say, 'Thank you.'

And when you need to cry, call your mom. Sometimes she listens, sometimes she sorts it out. Sometimes she makes me mad about something else and I move on. But I always know that it is safe to cry with my mom. 

Hugs are good, phone calls are great. A handwritten card for no reason is icing on the cake. Work hard and leave things better than you found them. Do more than you are asked but learn to draw boundries. 

She also believes there was more to the life of a woman than being a mother. She believes that shouldn't be your only identity. And while it isn't my only identity, it is my favorite job. 

 Thank you Mom.

Playoff Game #2

Again, my prayers for tonight. 

Play hard, play smart and keep it classy.

Prayers for health and strength. Prayers for sound minds and bodies. Prayers for comraderie and brotherhood. Prayers for support (loud and proud) from the fans, the parents, the students, the coaches and the alumni.  

Leave it all out there. You have put in the time and you have done the homework. This team knows each other as if you were brothers. Play like it! Have a great time. Enjoy the ride. And as always, I will be right here cheering for you. 

The Battle of the Bell

 It's game day!!! 

It is more than game day is Bell Day! One of the oldest rivalries in North Carolina history is the Battle of the Bell. Concord High plays AL Brown. Two of the oldest high schools in the same county in two different towns play football for bragging rights and a bell. A great big bell on wheels! 

This game is HUGE! My oldest was born on October 15, 2004. Traditionally this is the last game of the regular season. David was two weeks old and we took him to the Bell Game. He was bundled up in one of those kangaroo type carriers. I think there was a blanket on top of that. He had on a Spider beanie that was a baby gift.

He was so bundled up some people didn't even realize he was in there! We didn't stay for the entire game, it was that cold. But Concord won.

This year David gets to play in that game. It has been a week of spirit. Everyone has dressed up each themed day. My daughter is a JV cheerleader. She spent Monday (a teacher work day) decorating the school, it took the entire day! The Athletic Boosters have all but sold out of their spirit wear. Kids from other schools are coming to watch. Some of the football parents have had shirts made, just for this game. 

My hopes and prayers for last week were more anxious. While this game is important, the Spiders are heading into this game with some well earned confidence. Not the cocky, obnoxious type of confidence, the kind that comes from playing and praying with your teammates. The defensive line eats together every Thursday after practice. The offensive line won 'player of the week' in the Charlotte Observer. The varisty wears their jerseys and watches the JV team play. As a team after practice they sat on the hill and cheered for the soccer team, also SPC champions. And they cheered BIG!

I hope the Spiders have a great black and gold day at school. I hope they enjoy each other as the share a pregame meal. I hope they are happy and confident as they prepare for the bus ride across town. The stands will be packed. It will be loud, louder than last week and that was loud! But it will be fun. Embrace the fun, embrace the spirit of the Spiders and leave all you have out on that field. 

As I always say; play hard, play smart and keep it classy. Remember the faith you have in your team, the faith you have in your brothers. Go Spiders, bring home that bell! 

Spider Nation!

5:04pm October 22, 2021

I never played a team sport. As a kid and a young adult, I showed horses. And now I run. In both cases the results depend on me, I have no one to let down but myself. But I had horses that misbehaved, and I have had bad runs, so I understand loss. 

I remember showing my horse at a Regional Championship in Perry, Georgia. There were 60 horses in my class. They only picked the top five. My goal was just to look like I belonged. I was so nervous I couldn't watch the other horses warm up. I turned around and stared at the fence until it was time to get on. I am sure my horse felt my nerves. 

Our kids have played on teams that win, but most often their teams don't. And our kids lose with grace. They really are good losers! They manage to find the good in what they did, learn from it and move on. No one goes to bed mad because they lost. 

But tonight, the Concord Spiders play for the SPC conference championship. They are 5-0 in the conference. They have won more games this year than in the previous two combined. These boys work hard, they love each other and they lift each other up.

It is two hours until game time. I hope they are laughing in the field house. I hope they had a meal they all enjoyed. I hope some good music is playing. I hope they aren't as nervous as I am. I hope by the end of the night each and everyone of them can say they left it all out there. I hope they can say, "That was a good game." And as time goes on, I hope they remember how much fun they had. I hope they laugh about things they said and did. I hope they smile and tell people they bleed black and gold. I hope they say with pride, "I am a Spider."

I hope they all continue to hug me when they see me. I hope they always look up to their coaches. I hope they tell their kids how much being on a team like this meant to them. I hope their kids are the great sports these boys are. 

As parents if we learn anything from this, we learn that win or lose being part of a team is one of the greatest experiences of your life. We need to celebrate the love our child has for their team. And we all should remember supporting someone is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. 

Go Spiders! Play hard, play smart and keep it classy! I will be cheering for you. I will always be cheering for you.

10:51pm

And they won! It was a great game. The stands were packed. The band was great, the cheerleaders were great. And these boys left it all on the field. They earned the win. They will always remember this game, this season and these teammates. 

And now on to the Bell Game, and my wish is the same...

365 Days Ago

 March 13, 2020 was a Friday. Concord High had a baseball game, softball game and a women's soccer game; all at home. The weather was perfect for a spring evening in North Carolina. The crowds were larger than usual. And we had just been told we were all going home for two weeks. COVID had made its way to the US and Mecklenburg County, right next door. 

The JV boys played and no one went home. Everyone stayed to watch the Varsity play. While most kids do stay it was a Friday. There could have been plans, dates or get-togethers. But there were not. Everyone stayed to enjoy the weather and friends. 

The games ended and no one went home. The baseball coach talked to the crowd about his team and how much he enjoyed them. The seniors cried, would they get to play together again? High school seniors in white uniforms, dirty from sliding into bases, with their arms around each other like a chorus line simply holding on as long as they could. 

My son plays baseball so I know what happened on that field. I am sure there were other fields with similar stories. 

The last year has been hard. We have learned to roll with what comes at us. Some kids have flourished, some have suffered. I have both at my house. But that happens in life and we have to learn to roll with it, pick ourselves up and become better people. 

I have learned to hold my friends closer. I have learned that everyone is struggling. I have learned to show grace and kindness because this could be harder on someone than it has been on me. I have learned to do the best you can with what you have. I have learned to go outside just for the sake of breathing fresh air. I have learned to enjoy every game because it could the last. I have learned to walk instead of run.  

Thank you for the lessons, now it is time for COVID to move on. Get your shot, wear your mask, get up and move, enjoy your life.  

Yes, Online Learning Stinks

My mother was a teacher and an administrator. My sister is a teacher. My husband's father was a teacher and an administrator.  I have teacher friends. I have administrator friends. We go to church with the superintendent of Cabarrus County Schools. But I am also a parent.

I do want my kids to go back to school. They need it. They miss their friends and sports. They have even said they miss school.  I miss the schedule of school. I miss ball games, I even miss packing lunches. 

I think I have heard more people say, 'My kid doesn't do well with remote learning.' And I get it, mine aren't thriving in it either. More kids than not aren't thriving in it. We are social animals and we all crave that personal attention. But we are all in the same boat. All our kids are learning remotely. And it is hard for all of us. 

There are COVID-19 theories all over the place; it is a hoax by the government, it is just the flu, the strength of the virus is weakening, it doesn't do as much harm to children.  But what if is isn't? A friend from high school was sick with COVID.  Her latest Facebook post pled for everyone to tell your loved ones they are loved. 

When we talk about schools we aren't talking just about kids. It takes adults to run those schools. I know several who have just a few more years left before they can retire, my sister being one of them. Many of these adults are afraid for their health. Maybe COVID is a hoax, but what if it isn't and my sister gets sick from a child who did not show any symptoms.

I do not envy our leaders making these decisions. I am not going to criticise, however, next time we vote for School Board I am doing my research. Not because of the decisions they have made because this entire event has shown how important good leaders in the school system are.

Dr. Lowder made a recommendation to protect everyone. As a leader he should protect those who are under him. I respect that. I have always said, a good leader isn't afraid to do your job should the need arise. And I believe Chris Lowder has demonstrated he isn't afraid and that he understands the fear of our teachers and administrations have.

This whole thing sinks. And it stinks for all of us. I will celebrate the day when my kids can cheer and play ball. I will celebrate the day when we can hug and sit together. I celebrate the day my kids can go back to school.  But for now I stand with Lowder.

 #Istandwithlowder

A Friendship Born on the Westside

My mother always had good friends from church that were not her age.  She had older friends and younger friends.  While there was a teacher-student relationship there was also a sense that the field was level, even though there was an age difference.  One of our favorites was Mary Thorton Yarborough.  She lived down the street.  Her husband participated in tractor pulls.  And we loved to visit at Christmas and taste all the goodies she had baked.

When Dale and I found our church home, I made lots of friends with ladies older than myself.   With each meeting I thought, "Is this MY Mary Thornton?"  But soon I realized I didn't need another Mary Thornton, I needed Gaye.

I met Gaye Bryant Kelly in a Bible Study.  She was not like many of the other ladies who spent lots of time getting ready for the 90 minutes we spent talking about whatever book study we were doing.  She threw on some clothes and walked the two blocks to church.  She cut her own hair, wore very little make up and said just what she felt.

Our parents were both from the West side of Charlotte.  So Gaye felt we were kindred spirits.  There were things we were both raised to believe.  Things we gave the West Side credit for.  We both grew up in the Methodist Church. We both love to cook and we both love red wine.  We both love the mountains. We both love family, even when it is sprinkled with a bit of crazy.  Both our families have that bit of sprinkle.

Gaye shared her wisdom with me.  She taught me who to share my thoughts with and who would share my thoughts with everyone else.  We held each other in confidence.  She guided me through IKEA for the first time.  She guided me through The Depot (the IKEA of antiques) for the first time.  We share food, wine and deals.  We both crochet, read and binge the Blacklist.  We love our yards, open windows and clothes on the line.

Gaye is a master at capturing the light.  She would change the furniture in her shotgun house depending on the season and the light.  I have always admired her ability to be still and be aware.  I admire her ability to share and her ability to be quiet.  She, like me tends to wear her emotions on her face.  But she is better than I am at keeping her mouth shut!

We both grew up Methodist.  It runs deep for both of us.  John Wesley believed small groups sharing God's word were key to understanding it.  Gaye and I met in one of those small groups.  We evolved into other groups.  Sometimes that was a group of four or five cooking pancakes on Ash Wednesday, sometimes it was a group of seven or eight exercising in the Youth Room.  And sometimes it was just the two of us and my daughter, eating lunch and shopping for fabric.

With the evolution of technology Gaye and I communicate more via texts than we have in person over the last 18 months. Her husband retired and they bought a mountain house.  Even though they did not move completely, time spent here was work time.  Two houses, two yards, two gardens. In the end they decided that was too much to maintain in the summer.  The house in Concord was under contract in 24 hours.