My mother taught me a lot of things. She taught me to sew, she taught me to cook. She taught me to
work hard. By example, she taught me to eat well and exercise. She was running before it was cool. At 70 she commented she had started lifting heavier weights, I asked if she had moved up to five pounds. 'No, eight!' She was ahead of me!
We always cooked our meals from scratch. There were no mixes in our house. I remember being a mom of two toddlers buying groceries. An aquaintence was in line behind me. She commented that I must be a good mom because I had the good diapers in my cart. I looked at my cart and then at hers. She had prepackaged lasagna and processed food in her cart. Yes, I had the good diapers (the cheap ones didn't fit my child!) but I had ingredients in my cart, real food. I smiled and nodded. But I thought, if I am a good mom it isn't because I bought more expensive diapers, it is because I took care of my children.
She taught me the joy of playing in the dirt. I still ask the names of plants and flowers, it just doesn't stick in my head! She grew African Violets at our house in Sanford. I remember the egg shells in water under the sink. We share plants. And because of her, I love a plant with a history. I love to say, my mom gave me that one. And I share with my friends, 'Hey Jamie, do you want some elephant ears?'
My mom was friends with my friends, she insisted they call her Celia, "Mrs. Dickerson lives in Charlotte." She would say. My friends looked to her for advice on college and careers. Just yesterday the daughters of two hometown friends graduated from Appalachian State University. They posted a picture. I sent it to my mom. She loved those two mothers from the time they were little. I knew she would be proud of them now. Proud of them as mothers and proud of them as women.
She calls my oldest friend, Zac, often. She remembers his birthday. She was there for his step father's funeral. He called me to ask that my mom go see his mother before she died.
Make friends of every age. She had Mary Thornton Yarborough and I have Nancy Griffin.
Vote! Write letters to the people elected, they should be supporting you. And even if we don't agree on everything, it doesn't mean we can't be friends.
Buy the good shoes and the good underwear! Very important advice from my mother. Think about it.
Go to the mountians! Climb to the top. Breathe in the air. Turn off the tv. Dance outside. Bluegrass is great music.
Drink good beer and good wine. Make good food. Celebrate! Don't put the dish you cooked in on the table. Sit down together and eat. Everyone helps clean up. Everyone needs to know how to cook. (During the pandemic I taught my kids to make a rue.) Say, 'Thank you.'
And when you need to cry, call your mom. Sometimes she listens, sometimes she sorts it out. Sometimes she makes me mad about something else and I move on. But I always know that it is safe to cry with my mom.
Hugs are good, phone calls are great. A handwritten card for no reason is icing on the cake. Work hard and leave things better than you found them. Do more than you are asked but learn to draw boundries.
She also believes there was more to the life of a woman than being a mother. She believes that shouldn't be your only identity. And while it isn't my only identity, it is my favorite job.
Thank you Mom.
